by: David Leonhardt
The world is going downhill faster than an Olympic skier. Terrorists lurk around every corner. Climate change will soon melt the tundra and turn Iowa into a desert. Frankenstein foods are flooding the market, cleverly masquerading as innocent potatoes and beets.
And everybody is planning a war.
Sadam wants to unleash unspeakable biological evils. George Bush II wants to unleash unimaginable military might. Germany and France want to just unleash. North Korea ... need I say more? India and Pakistan want to run a nuclear relay race, and worst of all we won't even know who the good guys and bad guys are supposed to be. And I know why my Israeli friend moved back to New Jersey.
Just when we thought it was safe to sit back and take comfort in knowing exactly how bad things are, some fool has to come up with five tips to keep our spirits up in uncertain times. And that fool is me. So here are the tips:
Sorry about those five tips. If you wish to ignore them and return to the regularly-scheduled misery-wallowing, please go ahead. After all, in wartime nobody really wants to be happy, do they?